Mortification
O DIVINE LAWGIVER,
I take shame to myself
for open violations to thy law,
for my secret faults,
my omissions of duty,
my unprofitable attendance
upon means of grace,
my carnality in worshipping thee,
and all the sins of my holy things.
My iniquities are increased over my head:
My trespasses are known in the heavens,
and there Christ is gone also,
my Advocate with the Father,
my propitiation for sins,
and I hear his word of peace.
At present it is a day of small things with me,
I have light enough to see my darkness,
sensibility enough to feel the hardness of my heart,
spirituality enough to mourn my want of a
heavenly mind;
but I might have had more,
I ought to have had more,
I have never been straitened in thee,
thou hast always placed before me an
infinite fullness,
and I have not taken it.
I confess and bewail my deficiencies
and backslidings:
I mourn my numberless failures,
my incorrigibility under rebukes,
my want of profiting under ordinances of mercy,
my neglect of opportunities for usefulness.
It is not with me as in months past;
O recall me to thyself, and enable me to feel
my first love.
May my improvements correspond with my
privileges,
May my will accept the decisions of my judgement,
my choice be that which conscience approves,
and may I never condemn myself
in the things I allow!
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