What’s Wrong with Same-Sex Marriage? by James Kennedy and Jerry Newcombe, Crossway Books, (Wheaton, Illinois, 2004, pb, 143 pp, $7.99) covers a topic which is presently under much debate both in Europe and the United States. Authors Kennedy and Newcombe offer an easy-to-read Christian response to the moral issue of same-sex marriage. As such, I would like to present this book as an article/review of sorts. It is of primary importance that people are acquainted with what God says about this issue, that they become aware of the myths surrounding homosexuality and that they maintain a loving attitude towards, not the sin, but the sinners. Marriage is one of the oldest institutions on earth. It is a blessed institution and one that is capable of both providing stability and love. It is also, however, the authors contend, presently under a three-fold assault. The first is divorce. Although studies indicate that those who try to resolve marriage problems are happier in the long run, during the last number of decades the number of divorces has skyrocketed. The result is much family misery. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, in Culture of Divorce is quoted as saying:
“For parents, divorce is not a solo act but one that has enormous consequences for children… It has spawned a generation of angry and bereaved children who have a harder time learning, staying in school, and achieving at high levels… Divorce is never merely an individual lifestyle choice without larger consequences for society… It has imposed a new set of burdens and responsibilities on the schools, contributed to the tide of fatherless juveniles filling the courts and jails, and increased the risk of unwed teen parenthood.”
The second assault on marriage was the one launched by feminists. Movement pioneer Betty Friedan likened being a housewife to being in “a comfortable concentration camp”. Consequently, marriage was abandoned by a host of women, although later many of these conceded that business was no substitute for family love.
The third and present attack, the authors contend, is the homosexual issue. Presently three countries allow marriages between men and men and women and women – the first is the Netherlands, the second is Belgium and the third, Canada. Interestingly enough, Kennedy and Newcombe say that research has indicated, (a 2003 study by Xiridou, et al), that the average “marriage” between two men lasts one and a half years. Furthermore, during that time, men have an average of eight other sexual partners per year.
The authors pose the question, “Do homosexuals really want marriage?” And they answer, “No, what the homosexuals really want is to destroy marriage.” Homosexuals, Kennedy and Newcombe infer, want to use same-sex marriage as a legal tool by which to enforce their agenda on society. Michelangelo Signorile, a homosexual writer, is quoted as saying: “A middle ground might be to fight for same-sex marriage and its benefits and then, once granted, redefine the institution of marriage completely, to demand the right to marry not as a way of adhering to society’s moral codes but rather to debunk a myth and radically alter an archaic institution… It is also a chance to wholly transform the definition of marriage in American culture. It is the final tool with which to dismantle all sodomy statutes, get education about homosexuality and AIDS into public schools, and, in short, usher in a sea of change about how society views and trusts us.”
Very few homosexual couples in Holland and other places, did marry when the opportunity came. A Dr. Timothy Dailey of the Family Research Council is quoted as saying: “Data from Vermont, Sweden and the Netherlands reveal that only a small percentage of homosexuals and lesbians identify themselves as being in a committed relationship, with even fewer taking advantage of civil unions, or, in the case of the Netherlands, of same-sex ‘marriage’. This indicates that even in the most ‘gay friendly’ localities, the vast majority of homosexuals and lesbians display little inclination for the kind of lifelong, committed relationships that they purport to desire to enter.”
The infamous Kinsey Report of some fifty years ago, said that 10 percent of the men in America were homosexual. This report has been shown to be fraudulent. The Guttmacher Report came out recently. This study showed that 1.1 percent of American men were either homosexual or bisexual. Another study, (1993 – “Death of a Myth” Narth Bulletin), showed that 2 percent of American men who once were homosexual, now no longer are. Lawyer David Gibbs, who is involved with the Christian Law Association in Tampa, Florida, warns, in Kennedy’s and Newcombe’s book, what same-sex marriage would mean with regard to adoption.
“Homosexuals… want to challenge the right to be able to adopt other people’s children in courtrooms across America. When you come into an adoption court, the highest priority is always given to legally married couples. And so, if you can establish that you’re a legally married couple, you’ll be given a very high priority when you go to adopt other people’s children. In many states, homosexuals are not allowed to adopt other people’s children, or they’re greatly restrained from doing so. And what they’re really wanting to do is get this marriage right where they can go into the courts across America and, I believe, their agenda is to adopt all of the unwanted children of America to bring them up with their lifestyle with their way of thinking.”
Christianity, Kennedy and Newcombe say, gave birth to tolerance. “Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 7:12). However, homosexuals are not tolerant of Christians at all. Although the media does not cover many events in which homosexuals are intolerant, Kennedy and Newcombe contend that there are many such events and they record some of these. For example, “At a Baptist church in San Francisco, homosexual activists not only surrounded the church but pulled at various members trying to get hold of them to beat them. The church had to lock the doors. The protestors were taking the heavy lawn furniture from in front of the church, and they were trying to break down the doors of the church. They were screaming, ‘We want your children! We want your children!’ Inside the children were frightened and crying. Fearing the wrath of the homosexual activists, the police did little to stop them.”
The authors also contend that the media is extremely biased, but not in favor of Christians. Newspapers and magazines generally support the homosexual who says, in effect, “You must show me tolerance and accept my lifestyle as is. If you don’t, you will feel the full brunt of my intolerance.” Categorically, in chapter four of their book, Kennedy and Newcombe state their top 12 reasons for being opposed to same-sex marriage. Without going into detail, these are: 1. God opposes it. 2. It goes against the natural order of things. 3. It goes against recorded history 4. It hurts children. 5. It cheapens marriage. 6. It will unleash a legal nightmare. 7. It will sink the culture from civilized to barbaric because with the approval of immorality, society will unravel. 8. It destabilizes society. It will affect all areas of society from schools to jobs to retirement. 9. It will open Pandora’s box in the legalization of sexual perversion. Same-sex marriage is a slippery slope. If it is OK, then with what moral authority can polygamy be condemned? 10. It will hurt women for a number of reasons. 11. It can produce no children and is a self-destructive course for the West. 12. Christians will be perceived as the bad guys. They will be labeled homophobic or worse. Children will be told their parents are bigots if they say that marriage is only for a man and a woman.
Kennedy and Newcombe also present homosexuality as a deadly lifestyle. Armed with facts, they write that the average homosexual lifespan is somewhere in the late thirties, and early forties. And it is somewhere from early to middle forties for lesbians. By contrast, the average lifespan for heterosexual men is 73 years and for women it is 77. Promiscuous living, in other words, they say, can take some 20 to 30 years off your life. US Secretary of Education Bill Bennett is quoted as saying: “One of the difficulties in this whole issue is that people have been less than candid, have been afraid to talk frankly about the costs of the promiscuous homosexual lifestyle… The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta have pointed out in interviews (through the interview process) that a typical, active male homosexual might have two to three hundred partners a year… The biggest problem faced by promiscuous homosexuals in this country is devastation. Its not discrimination; it’s devastation. It’s death. It’s disaster.” Homosexuals live with death. One 35 year-old homosexual is quoted as saying: At this point in my life, there have been at least 94 people that I know who have died of AIDS -personal friends in the past three years.”
Not just AIDS but many sexually transmitted diseases (STD) are epidemic. Kennedy and Newcombe write: ‘Worldwide there are more than one hundred million cases of gonorrhea alone. In addition, there are cases of syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, (millions of people have that), as well as the dreaded AIDS and twenty-one other horrible sexually transmitted diseases.” Drug abuse is another problem. Signorile is quoted again saying that there is “…the international circuit of gay dance parties that take place throughout the year in various cities around the country and around the world. Thousands of men travel to them… and the events often turn into several days of partying. Recreational drug use is rampant and almost universal among attendees… Gyms are the (homosexual’s) cult’s temples. Nightclubs and sex clubs, its shrines. And the drugs – whether they are steroids and other compounds many men use to transform their physical bodies, or the Special K, Ecstasy, cocaine, and crystal meth many use to alter their minds – are the mystical elixirs and potions that will take us to a higher place where all is well and where we will bond with one another’s souls.”
Domestic violence, say Kennedy and Newcombe, rates high among homosexuals. It exceeds that of married people by a factor of at least five to six or seven times. Lesbians, somewhere around eight to ten times. As a matter of fact, Kennedy and Newcombe report from a study, it looks like lesbian partnerships have the highest rate of domestic violence on the planet. In one of the last chapters the problem of why homosexuals act the way they do is tackled. Past studies which suggest homosexuals have a gene that contributes to their lifestyle, are debunked and studies that suggest homosexuality is a product of nurture are brought forward. A repeated finding has been that dominating mothers and weak fathers contribute to the development of homosexuality as well as the fact that given a good father-son relationship, no boy develops a homosexual pattern.
The conclusion of the book presents confessions of ex-gays and ex-lesbians – testimonials of how faith in God changed their lives. A very profitable and encouraging chapter. In spite of the fact that homosexuals try to pervert Scripture and try to say that the Bible in no wise condemns their horrific behavior, Christians, Kennedy and Newcombe say, are to love the sinner and hate the sin.
A most helpful read, particularly during this time. This book is highly recommended as library resource material as well as a little volume to have handy when writing those much needed letters to the editor of one’s local newspaper.
[From Christian Renewal, February 23, 2005, by permission]
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